We're here, We're Queer, Ed used to it
by Emeraldegg
Summary: How can Eddy react when he discovers a close childhood friend may be gay? When drugs and drama are thrown in, things start to get scary and dangerous, and Eddy will have to deal with his own confusing feelings, and his loyalty to his only friend.
1. Chapter 1

"Just take it, Double D, you only live once."

Naz was laughing as she holds out a dark yellow pill, almost black. She's facing Edd, sitting together on the floor. Kevin was sitting on the couch, half-slumped. He was playing a video game, but now he's just staring at the wall, seeming to be in deep thought. Marie was half squealing emptily, grabbing for something on the walls that wasn't there. The apartment was small and dirty, overflowing with ashtrays, empty beer cans, and filthy clothes littering the floor. The smell was almost overwhelming for Edd, but he found himself strangely drawn in by something in Naz's pretty, empty eyes in her pretty, empty head. Something perfect and defiled, like a hooker's smile. It was something so completely different and easy. So different from him.

With his long black hair and black beanie, it was easy for people to make the assumptions, when he hit high school. They had always assumed, after that point, and it never changed. He had loosened up quite a lot in those years, and it didn't bother him, whatever assumptions they made about him, true or not. But even through all the ones that were right, that he was so shy to admit, this one had always been one he had smiled knowingly and walked away from, because he had known they were wrong. His body was completely substance free.

Naz put the pill in his hand, laughing again at something she had mumbled to herself, and then crawls haphazardly over to Kevin, stumbling drunkenly onto his lap, kissing him sloppily. He finally seems to half snap out of his reverie, facing her with a half aggressive, half intoxicated smile, and pulls her more on top of him, kissing her even harder. Marie seemed to be coming down, as she suddenly slid unceremoniously to the ground, losing her smile, looking troubled and confused as she looked at the ground, mumbling nonsense desperately. The room was dead and lifeless. Edd stared at the pill.

He was distinctly aware of everything it meant to him, and everything it meant about the life he didn't lead, but he pretended not to know. He wanted to look at it like a baby looks at an oven, as just something within hands reach. He vaguely wondered what it was, specifically. Wondered what it could do to him. As he felt his heart racing, and unfamiliar adrenaline shoot through his veins, it seemed like everything going on in this sad, strange environment fell away, and his hand shook unsteadily as he drew it hesitantly toward his mouth-

" Aw, I KNEW I'd find him here! C'mon Sockhead, what're you doing with these junkies?"

"Eddy!" Cried Naz happily, pulling her face away from Kevin's. "Woo, look who joined the par-ty!"

A six-five, massive teenager burst into the room, sunlight filling into the dark, curtained apartment. Eddy's massive hands gripped the door angrily, staring at Edd, who had jumped backwards at the sudden intrusion, dropping the pill. Those same hands came forward toward Edd's shoulders. He barely reached forward in time to grab the pill out of sheer impulse before he was dragged unceremoniously out the door and to Eddy's car, a tiny, beaten up "girl-car" as Eddy usually complains, that leaves the huge teen often bent ridiculously over his steering wheel. He had certainly taken over his father and brother's genes when he hit puberty.

"What the hell were you doing in there, Double D? Trying to get gonorrhea?" Eddy accused as he struggled to start his car.

Stung by the crude implications against the people that were _at some _point his childhood friends, the smaller teen replied tersely, " I needed somewhere to stay for the night. Naz invited me to stay with them, and I was much obliged. Of course, until SOMEbody dragged me out, leaving me unable to even thank them for their hospitality!"

"Oh please, like you really wanted to stay in that druggy orgy. What's with YOU? You're acting weird, Double D, and not like you usually do. Since when are you social? And since when are you long haired hippy guy sitting in a trashy apartment watching people dope up and fuck each other?"

"O-Orgy?"

Edd blushed at his statements; He knew Naz and Kevin were dating, and he had shyly looked the other way when they kissed, but he had no idea what the apparent truth of the matter was, at least as far as Eddy was concerned.

Eddy looked over impatiently, but when he saw the obvious mortification on his friend's face, he sighed a little, and relented.

"Well, just as long as I know you really aren't going over there for anything sick, it doesn't really matter to me," he grumbled, looking down angrily at his hands. He relaxed his grip of the wheel, turned off the engine, and slumped back into his seat darkly. "You're too smart for that crap."

They sat in silence for a moment, Eddy in complicated thought, Edd a little confused... But also a little ashamed of what he had in his pocket. Eddy didn't believe in any of that stuff, as much as his friends might think the contrary, he was as clean as Double D. Well, maybe not in his thoughts, and more experienced with girls, but his body was also free from 'substances.'

After a few minutes of this, Eddy's voice came to Double D, calmer, as he restarted the engine.

"You can stay at my place."

Edd's face lit up with relief that his friend was still there for him, but as he started to speak, Eddy's voice rang out again;

"But if you try to make me rub your feet again I'll break your face," casually, half-turned around checking the parking lot as he backed up. Edd just smiled.

**Chapter one. I am nearly done with all the writing of this story, so don't worry about it stopping and never finishing. Reviews are always appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

Edd's clothes were too dirty and disheveled to wear in Eddy's bed (Which he gave up without a fight), so the huge teen let Double D wear his old nightshirt, which was long and modest for a short Eddy, but hugged the thighs of a regular sized Edd (He hadn't grown much except a bit longer arms and legs and hair.)

Edd opened the door, changed and showered, to Eddy's room. The brooding teen was nowhere to be found, so after a moment of hesitation, Edd turned on the light and sat down on Eddy's bed, gingerly. He looked around Eddy's room. It was really all the same, with a few more pictures of hot girls thumbtacked on the wall, and one less disco ball. Feeling a strange sense of something ominous, he slipped his hands instinctively into the pockets of the nightshirt, when his finger hit something small and hard. He froze. Double D had forgotten that he had taken the pill from his pants pocket into the night shirt, and sat there for several minutes, nervously fingering the pill. Just when he was about to take hold of it to bring it out and look at it, the door swung open again, and Eddy joined him on the bed. They sat in the still for a few moments, not looking at anything in particular. The guilt of what Edd had in his pocket was just too much, and the longer the silence stretched, the more he felt like Eddy knew.

"It's strange that Kevin doesn't live next door anymore, " Edd hesitantly attempted to strike a conversation, " Don't you think?"

"After I stopped being a foot tall, Kevin didn't matter anymore." But a moment after the concise reply, Eddy relented. " It's more just weird that he's not the same guy that everyone thought was cool before high school. Now he's just a loser junkie hitting a bunch of easy sluts. And now everyone looks up to me, like they did my brother! But I don't give a shit what they think anymore."

Edd was surprised at the revelations Eddy seemed to have made about himself. One of his biggest goals was to be liked and respected and cool like his big brother, but now, Kevin was far more like the older brother than Eddy would ever be, and Eddy was glad of it. Double D knew he was smart, though. Even now, Eddy seemed to be always scheming something, infinitely more elaborate and subtle than he could have imagined in his youth, and not involving the neighborhood kids. These days, particularly after Ed moved away, Double D was not invited to be involved, either.

Double D turned away for a second, looking out the window. How many times the three of them had escaped through that window, in or out of it. How many childish deeds, done in complete eagerness and haste. He just felt tired, remembering. He felt tired, every day, seeing little elementary kids outside in the streets on his way to the school bus stop, skipping rope, playing tag. Playing with dolls.

"So what's with you and Jimmy?" A sharp question startled Double D out of his reverie and he turned to face his friend. Eddy had a serious look on his face. " You hang out with him a lot and people are starting to ask questions."

Immediately, the second and only other secret Double D kept from Eddy came back to also stare him in the face demanding honesty. He tried to dodge the meaning of the question.

"He's just a nice guy. We're friends. After all, we all grew up together and-"

"C'mon, you know what I mean, sockhead."

Edd looked away from his friend's questioning eyes. " Well, it doesn't matter to me if he's gay." Then, he turned back to stare Eddy down levelly. "I accept everyone, Eddy. Even if you don't."

There was a cold, tense moment.

Eddy stared at him for a few seconds more, and finally backed down, looking up at his ceiling. "I never said I didn't accept him... If he had just told me first, maybe it wouldn't be so hard to get, instead of learning it from someone else!"

"Are... are you still talking about Jimmy, Eddy?"

Eddy was silent. It seemed to him that it shouldn't be so hard for him to respond honestly. After all, Double D had certainly taken his fair amount of the "gay" ribbing during school; When everyone found out what was under his hat, and when he actually started to put his hat on TOP of his hair, instead of cruelly bunching the hair up round his skull, it seemed the fag jokes would never stop. Long hair on boys, especially boys as 'dainty' as Edd had always been, was never the best signal to other kids who were none too accepting of 'alternate lifestyles.' With Jimmy, it was almost a different story; he had seemed to be 'out' since everyone first knew what gay meant.

And he eventually came out, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, and few people were really all that concerned. There was no question mark over his head. He was just simply what he was, and everyone accepted it. Even Eddy. There was no need for anyone to pick on or taunt him because usually, bullying comes from confusion or intolerance on the part of the bullies. But everyone grew up with Jimmy, so he was a gay fixture of their lives from the beginning, even when he'd shown a strange attachment to Sara, he eventually realized it was just that she was the only one he trusted, and they stayed very close friends until she and Ed moved. For Double D, however, since so few knew much of anything about him except that he was a germophobe sometimes and that no matter what ridiculous thing Eddy put him through, he would stick with him, he was the wild card, and much smarter than everyone else to boot. The harassment and rumors and doubt that circled him lasted all through school.

But somehow, it hadn't occurred to Eddy until very recently that Double D might actually be gay, or something. It scared him. It was one of the few core values his father and brother left instilled in him strongly; The value of anti-queer. A queer was not a person. He wasn't a man or a woman, but some inhuman, sexual predator, the skinny freaky bitch with a penis and no boobs that sounded like a spoiled five year old girl, covered in glitter. It was frankly a sickening image that came to his mind when he imagined fags, and he basically tolerated Jimmy because he stayed the fuck away from Eddy, and his voice wasn't too nasally. But sometimes, the high pitched, girly chatter of Jimmy and some of the type of girls that hung out with him at school grated on his nerves. And Edd was his best friend. His only friend. But recently, he heard something that disturbed him.

"Eddy?"

Double D couldn't be gay. Even with that skinny, white frame, even with that long black hair, (maybe he was just trying to be alternative or something, that would explain why he was hanging out with those sick druggie kids), and even hanging out with Jimmy and those obnoxious faghags. And even with what he heard about from May in the cafeteria before school ended. The only time he had seen Double D really act his idea of 'gay' was with that whole boomerang incident. Which was not something he liked to remember. Especially not Double D sliding around on that pole. He suddenly felt like actually asking Double D about it, but his fear was that actually voicing his doubts would somehow make them come true. As if it would make what he had heard, real.

"Sure I'm talking about Jimmy. Who else would I be talking about?" He suddenly snapped at Double D angrily. Double D knew something wasn't right here. After a moment, he cautiously spoke, knowing he would probably regret it.

"But... You're still friends with Jimmy, right? You wouldn't hate him just because of something like that, right?"

"Of course not! You and I both know Jimmy is my best friend, my ONLY friend! If I lose Jimmy, who the hell else do I have? But what am I supposed to do if I can't be around my best friend without worrying he's gonna go all queer on me?"

They were definitely not talking about Jimmy anymore.

"Maybe it would be better for everyone if Jimmy just goes back to dating May." Eddy finished deliberately, turning to Edd.

Edd looked away.

"You've changed, Eddy. You've never told anyone to be ashamed of who they are, or hide. Jimmy... Is fine the way he is. And everyone knows Jimmy doesn't really like May."

They were silent in the dark still of the room.

"Maybe I should go."

"Ah, jeez luise! No, don't be dumb, stay the night and I'll take you back home in the morning."

"I'm not going home."

"Why?" Eddy challenged Double D. "Why not? What could you possibly have in your perfect sticky note home that could make you not want to go back?"

His jaw clenching, Double D started to turn to leave, when Eddy jumped up.

"And give me back my goddamn shirt!"

Eddy snatched the collar of the shirt and jerked it violently off Double D's head, and in the same motion, shoved him toward the door. Now only in underwear, at the brink of frustrated tears, the skinny teen turned to stare Eddy down, betrayed, before throwing open the door and leaving.

"Yeah... Go back to Naz and watch them fuck! That'll make you feel better, right? Fuck you!" Eddy cried out after him, before slamming the door hard enough to make his room rattle.

Edd stormed away from the house blindly, and soon started running, angry and scared of being seen nearly naked, and before he knew where he was headed, he found himself in the woods, in front of the abandoned shed.

The neighbors had no idea what to make of such a sight as a half naked teenage boy running angrily out of Eddy's room in the middle of the night.

**Any tips or advice would be appreciated, and reviews, as always.**


	3. Chapter 3

An hour later found Double D, trying to fit as much of his body as humanly possible on the single pillow in the corner of the shed. His hands were clenched together still, and it wasn't until he started to relax that the pressure of the now mobile pill reminded him of its' existence.

He looked down at it. Dark yellow. Almost black. It could be a lot of things. He should probably throw it away, right now.

_According to who? _

The question seemed to come out of almost nowhere. Indeed, according to who?

_You want it_. The same voice promised him. _Will you let Eddy control all of your life, hmmm? Even when he doesn't know he's doing it? Even now, you're wondering what he would say if he found out. _

Edd gritted his teeth; The voice was right! What did Eddy know, anyway? They were practically the same age! Sure, Eddy had it ALL figured out, angry and miserable all the time! Double D knew he needed to do this for himself, have an experience entirely outside of Eddy.

With a sudden, furious impulse, he yanked the pill toward his mouth, and swallowed it. For a moment, everything was deathly silent. Fear and anxiety began to bubble in his stomach. _What the hell did I just do! _ He wondered fearfully.

Suddenly, most of his anger toward Eddy took a backseat to fear of the unknown, and he suddenly knew that he needed his friend, badly. He wanted someone around who could take care of whatever was going to happen to him, besides his parents. (They could NEVER know.) Finally, he stood, (Still in his damn underwear) and gingerly stepped out of the shed, into the dark forest. The trees blocked out whatever of the moon shone overhead to light his way, and the forest floor was damp with life, flora and fauna. His bare feet were sensitive to every sensation that sent chills up his spine. Toes suddenly sinking into unknown goo, feet jabbed by broken branches, the occasional creepy crawlie.

He wandered toward the cul de sac but, for some reason, he was starting to feel a little afraid that he would just get lost. He had walked in and out of the forest a thousand times before, but maybe he was just nervous that the drug would make him lose direction. After all, he had no idea what he had taken, or what it could do to him. He couldn't help but imagine horrible hallucinations and babbling insanity, but as he made his way further through the forest, he found himself feeling... Good. His back straightened up a little, and a little smile fell over his lips. The danger seemed to fall away. Then, he thought about how he was walking through the forest at night and smiling, and his smile got even bigger, goofy. He suddenly felt like he could do anything.

He took another step through some bushes, and found himself at the edge of the cul de sac again, to no surprise for him. The night sky seemed brighter, energetic. He felt like dancing. He felt great. Everything became vivid and sharp, and he made his way to the sidewalk happily enough. Suddenly, he became very aware that he wasn't afraid anymore. He didn't need to find Eddy to be taken care of; He just wanted to see his friend. It seemed like if he could just go to him, just have a heart to heart conversation, that all their problems would be solved.

**Reviews and tips are always welcome. I'm aware that this one is pretty short.**


	4. Chapter 4

Just as he was about to head to his bigger friend's house, a pair of headlights translated into a huge, colorful sun suddenly coming out at him, and he turned to see Eddy's ridiculous little car, like a clown in a tiny van. The bigger boy brought the car to a screaming halt, and when the taller teen rushed out of the car, slamming the door, the screaming didn't stop.

"What the hell are you doing, Double D? Where are you going? You're- Aw christ, you're still in your underwear! Why didn't you go home and get some clothes? Why are you out here in the street? Why are you grinning at me like that? ...Wait, are... Are you _high? _"

Edd smiled at Eddy. He felt like a million dollars, and he knew with a certain nonjudgmental empathy that Eddy was stuck on the other side, at the moment. He wanted to take Eddy over to his side, and impulsively rushed forward, hugging as much of Eddy as he could. Red exploded in the edges of his vision as the sensory part of the drug kicked in, and he started talking. He was saying things. Speaking. He said something else. And he laughed. That was about as much of this as Eddy was sure of. Because there was nothing in what Double D was saying that made even close to sense. His body tensed up when the smaller teen made contact with it; He had a problem with Edd touching him ever after he saw the kid on the pole in his undies in his "opposite" personality. And especially after the kid was naked tied to a tree with him. That had been a difficult day to explain to the other kids when they saw Edd (ALL of Edd) dangling from a tree.

Finally, he shoved Edd off hard. Edd stumbled back in surprise, but after a moment, his smile flooded back.

"God you look like a hippy..." Eddy mumbled bitterly. "Half naked in the middle of the street with that long ass hair of yours, and now you're on drugs, hugging me. Great, just great."

Annoyed, he pulls his jacket off and throws it onto Edd, before picking up the babbling boy and throwing him into the passenger was so disgusted he could barely think, and stayed quiet as he revved the engine and sped off for his home. Double D wasn't talking anymore, just sitting and smiling, eyes closed, swaying left and right, like he was swaying with a good song that Eddy couldn't hear. Eddy was mumbling expletives over his steering wheel, angry that his only friend had betrayed him like this. When they got back, he dragged Edd out of the car and back through the same door he left in, back into his room, and onto his bed. He turned to face the stupidly smiling boy, and finally demanded,

"What the hell did you take?"

Edd just smiled coyly. His hands seemed unable to keep still; First they were on the mattress, petting it like a puppy, and then traveled to his knees, exploring more of the sensory experience of the drug. His hands rubbed over his knees, seeing colors swirl in time to his touch, eyes drifting away from Eddy to watch them occasionally. He was so wrapped up in experience, he just wanted to feel everything, that he found himself up off the bed, toward Eddy, his hands drifting to Eddy's shirt. So soft. Crazy soft. And firm, with the skin underneath, he just rubbed Eddy's chest for several moments. Eddy stiffened up, taken aback by this sudden change in demeanor. But he had heard horror stories of idiot friends doing things to a person on drugs, and their good trip taking a horrific turn into nightmare-land. He was conflicted; ordinarily, he wouldn't give a shit about shoving a queer off, even if it was his friend, but now... He didn't know if he should blame Double D or feel bad for him. The smaller teen's arms suddenly seemed to give out, and their chests pressed together, Double D's arms wrapping around him in a half-fall, half-hug. Eddy's arms instinctively flew up in the air, away from the boy.

"W-what the?" Eddy, after a tense, uncomfortable moment on his side, finally took Double D's arms in his hands, and put them back in front of a stupidly smiling Edd.

"Hey, yeah, uh, just a second..." He mumbled, giving a half, uneasy smile, and slipped out of the room. Nervously, he made his way to his older brother's old room; The computer still had internet.

"My frend took a drug wat do i do"

Did you mean "My friend took a drug what do i do" ?

Impatiently, Eddy clicked it and followed the link. After clicking through some various symptoms, he found what he was looking for. Water. Edd needed water. He would also probably be experiencing a heightened feeling of intimacy, which definitely made sense. He might grit his teeth. Understandable. And... Oops. He wasn't supposed to be left alone.

Moments later, Eddy was racing back into his room with some bottles of water, only to find Edd had turned on the radio onto some techno station, and was dancing. DANCING. Eddy backed up for a minute. He almost wanted to just leave this weird scene and not deal with it, but to be honest, drugs scared the life out of him, and he couldn't take letting Edd be here alone and maybe hurt himself. After all, it was only after Eddy had let him storm out that he had... Ended up like this. Edd turned again to spot Eddy. His pupils were like saucers.

"Eddy!" He cried out ecstatically. "Isn't this amazing? Everything we thought of was not what really was, it's the connection of everything we forgot. Utopia is inside the things we forget to see, Eddy! Give me your hands!" He cried ecstatically.

Eddy stayed in the doorway for a moment, as if he was vaguely hoping Edd would forget he was there if he was still enough, but he walked over reluctantly, and offered his hands to Edd. The black haired roller took the hands in his, giving them a light squeeze; For him, of course, color burst around him and the sensation, paired with the music, was beyond description. He closed his eyes and brought Eddy's hands to his face; The big, warm digits cupped his cheeks and created even more sensation.

Eddy wasn't used to touching people. For him, of course, it was an infinitely duller sensation, but it gave him a sick thrill, and, staring into Edd's softly smiling face, shrouded in long, girly, dark hair, in the darkened room, with the warm skin under his fingers, the situation turned his nerves into a quick, unsustainable bout of lust. His fingers shook as logic took a backseat to the stimulation of the moment. And that wasn't so bad, was it? Edd was on a drug; he wouldn't know afterward. It seemed to him that this was a special situation, that there were no consequences if he just DID something. He pulled his hands away from Double D, and watched as the boy opened his eyes in surprise. Double D moved his own hands to Eddy's face, running his index finger lightly over Edd's lips. Soft, pliable.

Eddy felt a strange swelling in his chest, and he suddenly grabbed Double D by the jacket he lent him and pulled him into a fast kiss. He pulled away again, staring into Edd's eyes. They were slightly clouded, a little confused, before he slowly made a move back to eddy's lips, and they actually kissed. Edd's lips were a little dry from dehydration, and Eddy's warm and wet. They made slow movements, which Eddy suddenly quickened and deepened, desperately, a strange hunger taking over. The moment suddenly passed, and Eddy shoved Edd back, glaring at him. He turned and grabbed a water bottle, throwing it at the wall, the cap bursting open and spraying the floor.

"Get out!" He suddenly cried. "Get the fuck out, Double D!"

When Edd, startled, stood in place from shock instead of instantly reacting, Eddy grabbed the jacket again and used it to jerk Edd toward the door, accidentally throwing him to the floor. "Get out!" He cried again, unconcerned. Edd started to shake and got up, rushing toward the door, beginning to cry. He raced out of the house, for the second time that night, and turned back toward Naz's house. He felt like they would understand, like it would all make sense to them, like they could help him.

**Reviews and Tips are always Appreciated and welcome. **


	5. Chapter 5

When he got there, Marie was opening the door to toss out a trash bag, and smiled as she saw Double D run up the steps.

"Hey there cutie, I..." She noticed his clearly frightened expression, and his huge pupils. Instantly she gave a predatory grin. "Well well well, looks like Mr. Righteous-Pants could use a little help!" Instantly, she was vibrating black. He didn't like her very much at the moment. But before she could completely scare him off, Naz stepped out of the apartment room and, taking one look at him, rushed to put her arms around him and lead him inside, apologizing for what she might have done or said while she was high and apparently giving out "prescriptions." As she brought him to the couch, she told him that she never should have let him go off on his own with the drug, and kindly asked him when he had taken it, and how he had managed so far. All he managed to say was, " Eddy..." Before he started crying again. She didn't know what was going on, but she knew that this was taking a bad turn and tried her best to keep him from getting any worse. She suddenly flipped around so that she was straddling him from the back, and started to rub his shoulders.

Edd immediately began to grunt and moan; Not sexually, but just from the amazing sensations his overstimulated brain was receiving. Within seconds, it seemed like everything that had been wrong before melted away, and gave away to the euphoric rightness he felt earlier. When she was done, it took him a few minutes to be able to actually i speak /i, it was so nice.

"Searching for gold amongst a sea of clouded jewels, I tell ya, Naz. He's just stuck in the dark, and now I see everything. He doesn't want to hurt anything, his eyes just hurt when he looks at it, see? Do you understand?" He asked Naz, seriously. She nodded calmly. Whether she really understood or not was irrelevant, to both of them. "Nothing stops or changes. We're all the same and constantly changing, being new versions of our same self. Ed isn't gone. He's still eleven years old, living in the cul de sac. I don't want this to end, you know, for it to go away and stop. It never will. This is the perfect night," He stated, apparently forgetting what had happened between him and Eddy.

The perfect night.

Eddy sat on the roof of his house. He needed to be away from his family, from everything, just for now. He couldn't believe he had sent Edd out into the world alone, rolling, all just because of some stupid, under-the-influence kiss. i I just got caught up in the moment is all,/i he thought to himself, frustrated. He didn't know where Edd had gone, and it felt ridiculous to try to run after him again. i You made the poor kid cry! I mean, right now he's like a mental five year old. What were you thinking? /i All he could hope was that Edd had found somewhere safe to stay for the night, he just couldn't face the boy again, certainly not while he was still high. And, honestly, he didn't know how he would face him again EVER. After all, he kissed the teen first. And he had to admit... Not out loud, NEVER out loud, but to himself, that it hadn't all just been circumstantial.

Edd sat on the couch, talking animatedly with Naz, until Kevin suddenly came in from the bedroom. He turned to face them, calmly. A smile spread over his face. Naz turned to Edd, whispering, "Kevin's rolling too." He came over to them and sat close to both of them, smiling, with a loving look in his eyes. Marie crossed the room and sat down on the couch, and suddenly, all of them were in such close quarters that a sober Edd would have had a panic attack almost immediately. But not now. He felt strangely comfortable. Intimate, even. They all looked beautiful, and kind. Kevin was looking at Double D, his smile growing. Double D reached out and touched Kevin's arm, bulkier after having reached puberty late in middle school, muscular. The two of them were uninhibited in a way that Eddy could never understand. Edd, normally, didn't like Kevin like that, but Kevin seemed i right /i just then.

And Double D must have seemed that way to Kevin, because after a few moments, Kevin drew Double D in for a kiss. The girls just smiled and watched, occasionally rubbing the boys' backs to stimulate the touch part of the drug. Already, Double D was forgetting about Eddy completely. The sensations were fantastic, and this time, reciprocated. In between losing himself in the touch of kissing, and fading out, he found himself suddenly having strangely liberating, introspective thoughts and realizations; he came to terms with what he had hidden from Eddy, and more importantly, himself; Yes, he was gay. Yes, he had left home because his parents found out and he felt there were irreconcilable differences. Yes, he even had a crush on Eddy, and had for many years. But he found that all he needed to do was face all of that; Face his parents, face Eddy, face the truth.

He also knew that Ed and Sara moving away had hurt him badly, that Ed's never-ending compassion was something of a pillar in his childhood that he missed. He also knew that he could overcome that, as well. He knew that Kevin wouldn't be anywhere near him if it weren't for this drug, but that was okay, too. Because this, this kissing, this connection, was the same, girl or boy. And he knew that as well, he had in fact taken a drug, taken a chance; But everything had worked out. In fact, everything was brilliant, fantastic, beyond wonderful. When one of the girls turned on the radio, the music was literally indescribable. There were no words that could measure up to what it was like. A three minute, simple song became a fifteen minute musical masterpiece epic.

The kiss deepened, and Double D wrapped his arms around Kevin; hugging was fantastic this way, especially with the bare part of his stomach that pressed against Kevin through the jacket Eddy lent him. There was a certain brotherly connection, even with the kiss, that couldn't be compared to every day life. The whole apartment seemed to glow with a beautiful energy. Double D had the weirdest thoughts i Is this the meaning of life? This clarity?/i As he and Kevin began to make a slow way down to the couch, Kevin on top of the smaller, half-nude teen. Double D vaguely wondered if he was going to lose his virginity. He was okay with that, too. He felt like Kevin thought the same thing. He broke the kiss and asked calmly,

"Do you want to have sex?" Without the slightest inhibition, and Kevin nodded. " Do you?" He asked in reply with an easygoing smile, to which Edd nodded back, and just as Kevin opened the jacket to give attention to Edd's stomach, the door slammed open, with Eddy in a familiar situation, crashing the party once again. The scene he stumbled into was more shocking than anything he could have expected. Edd and Kevin turned their heads to him casually, a dopey smile on their faces.

"Hi, Eddy."

"Yo, man."

**Reviews and Tips are always appreciated and welcome.**


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